Everybody feels this way sometimes

Today I have been rocking out to the sweet sound of Lisa Loeb in my own head.  It just keeps playing.  I don’t know why this happens from time to time, you just wake up and it’s like there’s this inevitable soundtrack to the day that you can’t escape.  So to celebrate, I put a little LL on my iPod and I’m not even going to try to escape from it.  You know, everybody feels this way sometimes.  Everybody feels this waaaaaay. 

So on the subject of me stumbling to the train daily:  Today I spilled coffee on my skirt.  Let me back up.  Early this summer I bought myself a white skirt that I hate.  I mean, hate.  I despise this skirt.  I kind of thought I should have a white skirt or that it was summery or something so I bought it on sale, and it just hangs in my closet and makes me angry.  I don’t really like white. 

And this is not because I don’t get positive affirmation when I wear the skirt.  Wayne always says, “That looks nice,” when I wear it, which involves the high praise of him noticing what I’m wearing.  Mary Lee, I think, loves it.  “You look great!  Love the skirt!”  It is a very classic and lovable skirt.  I just… who knows.  Sometimes there are just things you love or hate that make no sense whatever but you do and that’s that.

So okay, this morning I decide to wear dreaded skirt.  With yellow shirt no less.  It is pretty much the stock outfit they use on 7th Heaven when they are introducing a ”good girl who may or may not fall in with the wrong crowd.”  It’s cute, I’ll give you that.  But, I mean, I have black hair.  You know which crowd I’m going to fall in with.  And when I leave the house I take Mary Lee’s pink mug, which is the absolute cherry on top of dreaded outfit.  I could just pinch my cheeks, it’s so adorable.  I hate it.  (Although I love this mug with other outfits)(I’m being serious, about mugs and outfits matching).

Here’s how I know I will never be a straightforward good girl character.  Like the minute I walk out the door, I notice that there are little coffee dribbles on my skirt.  I figure, okay.  Fine.  I spill coffee literally all the time.  I get on the bus and look in my lap and what… the… hell??  More coffee dribbles!  I am on the train and walking down the street, is it dribbling again?  When does it dribble?  Does it dribble when I drink like this?  How about like this?  I don’t understand!  Make it stop! By the time I get to work, I am beside myself.  This on the only day in the world I have ever forced myself to wear the white skirt I don’t even like?  This??

I still do not know what was wrong with the mug.  I screwed and unscrewed the top which may or may not have done something.  I drank the rest with a papertowel wrapped around it.  This kind of thing happens from time to time with travel mugs, and I guess white skirts although this is really my only experience with it.  Everybody feels this way sometimes.  Everybody feels this waaaaaaay.  Did I ever tell you that Lisa Loeb is the unofficial soundtrack for my screenplay?  It is.  It’s going to be awesome.

Today is my birthday! And give me your phone number.

So first of all, it’s my special daaaaaaay!  (Not my wedding, the Ultimate special daaaaay, just my birthday)  I am celebrating in the following ways:

1.  Shaved my birthday legs so I can wear a birthday skirt.

2.  Maybe a birthday manicure during my birthday lunch.

3.  Birthday pulled pork for lunch compliments of mom and dad.

And of course, there will be the evening birthday festivities of Birthday Dinner with Wayne and Birthday Batman Movie and Birthday Staying up Late, because it is a long movie I’ve heard.

In other news, yesterday on my Unbirthday I lost my cell phone and replaced it in one fell swoop.  How did I lose my cell phone?  Good question.  I think I threw it out on my lunch tray because I am a big idiot.  But the nice people at AT&T gave me a new one, no problems.  Except for the tiny problem of not having anybody’s phone number anymore.  I am trying to get the word out in all the usual places… email, facebook, especially to people who’s phone numbers I for sure HAD.  But if you’re reading this, and you want me to call you ever, you should text me your name or send me an email… that way I can save the number. 

In fact, if you text me, “Happy birthday!  Love, (your name here)” then all my birthday dreams and phone number dreams will have come true!!!!

Becoming more Awesome every day

This morning, I stopped at one of my favorite places in Merchandise Mart… it’s called Foodstuffs.  I like Foodstuffs because they give me a big Chinese Food Box filled with Smart Start Cereal, fresh strawberries, bananas, and almonds and a cup of skim milk to add later.  Yum, right?  And I can also get coffee there. 

So yeah, I’m walking with my coffee and a bag with chinese food box and cup of milk and I am walking down the stairs and I am readjusting.  And as I readjust my breakfast in my hands I lose it a little, but just for a second.  I inhale quickly, grab for everything, stop walking. 

And I make the exact same face my dad makes in a moment of panic. 

Like, seriously, as soon as I did this I had a picture of my dad in my head, I had a million moments, “Quick, grab that!” “Hey!  You’re spilling!” That kind of thing.  And then I had my own face making that face and once again… I am turning into my parents.

Quick list of other recent events that make me think this:

1.  Time I brought bugspray on a short day trip that was only moderately outside. (mom)

2.  Number of grocery stores where I am a “frequent shopper.”  Seriously, if I have shopped there once, I have their card on my keychain.  Yeah, even Kroger (road trip), CVS (whim), Petsmart(don’t have any pets of my own)… in addition to the big ones, Jewel, Dominicks. (mom)

3.  Lists, well, of course. (dad)

4.  I subscribe to two podcasts: Uncle Bill’s Sermons, This American Life. (dad)

5.  Amount of time it takes me to leave the apartment.  I grab everything, walk into the kitchen, look in the fridge “do I want to bring a water/pop/coffee?”  Then I walk into my bedroom one last time, look around, pat my pockets and look in my purse, “Is this everything?  Everything?”  (mom and dad both)

6.  Leaving all kinds of crazy early, very anxious about departure time. (dad)

6a. *Note.  This one happens about 70% of the time.  The other 30% I am frantically running waaaaay late.  That is not like anyone else in my family.  That one is special to me.  Lucky!

7.  Coffee. (dad)

8.  Meticulous about money in bank account.  Spend a lot of time looking at these numbers, re-checking budget.  (mom)

9.  Potted flowers I just put outside the house.  I am always seeking out new plants, new pots to put them in, and for the duration of their short little lives I am ecstatic every time I see them.  Two weeks later, when they are crispy with death, I try not to be too sad, and instead buy a new plant. (mom, old-school.  She’s pretty good with plants these days.)

Actually, I thought of more than I thought I would.  This is a long entry, isn’t it?  

Kinda like Nashville with a tan

So I was listening to Rockabye on my iPod (yeah I was) and the batteries cut out right before that line.  Oh world!!  And now I have to have Rockabye stuck in my head for, I’m assuming, the greater part of the day.  Thanks a lot iPod.  Thanks for not magically recharging yourself like I always hope you will.

So it’s the weekend again.  Something weird is happening to me.  It used to be that my weeks felt like an eternity that would never, ever end and my weekends felt like when you’re walking down the street and you catch a whiff of someone BBQing and then it’s gone in an instant.  Yes, that is what my weekends felt like.  And lately, I’ve started feeling like first of all, going to work can be welcome alone-time (time to read on the train, lunch of all my own choice, visiting farmers market or nail salon or stores) and second of all, the weekends seem fun and adequate.  And evenings.  Like that’s maybe how much time I want to spend doing fun stuff, anyway. 

Maybe I shouldn’t have tried blogging about this, it is apparently tough to explain.

In other news, I started the Lifetime Movie “Wisegal” with Mary Lee last night and let me tell you one thing.  I’m glad I never fell in love with a mobster.  Although I am really pretty, so I think I could attract one if I wanted. 

Also I got my nails done last night and they are the springy-est kelly green in the whole wide world.  And when I picked this color, the nail lady told me that no one else has EVER picked this color.  She told me that I was a special snowflake, basically.  And then she laughed with her friend at the silly girl who paid money for someone to paint her nails green.

Look.  I don’t think I need to explain myself to her.  My nails look fabulous.  Fabulous!  I’m a special snowflake!

Don’t tell Clinton and Stacy

So this morning I woke up at the nightmarish hour of 7:30.  What makes 7:30 so scary?  Well, I try to leave the house by 7:20 if that gives you any indication.  But what’s more is that it’s so close.  Like if I throw on an outfit and run I really can still make it to work on time.  If I woke up at 10:00 there’d be consequences, I’ll give you that, but at least I’d call work, explain, have some coffee, pick out an outfit, and stroll like a normal person down the street.

Today, I called Wayne.  This is my embarrassing backup secret to getting to work on time… sometimes I call Wayne, force him out of bed with my urgent pleading, and beg him to pick me up and drive me to work.  I know, I know: I want the world, I want the whole world, give it to me now. 

Anyway, here was my fifteen precious minutes of getting ready this morning:  Mary Lee set up the coffee maker last night so I had coffee.  (Thanks ML you are lovely).  I bought a new dress from Target so hey, I threw on the dress.  (By the way, here’s my How I Met Your Mother Ripoff Joke of the Day: Wearing a dress is easy.  Step 1, put on the dress… there is no step 2).  Okay and then I grabbed my purse and a little makeup, a sweater, Wayne showed up with the car and I’m outta there.

Here is what I discovered upon looking at myself in the elevator mirror:  I look like a crazy person!  Nothing  I am wearing matches.  Not one thing.  Let me itemize a little list of my outfit, you be the judge:

1.  Black and white patterned dress from Target.  The dress has a teal-colored sash that inherently does not match but on the dress it works and looks funky and cute. 

2.  White sweater with red, purple, pink flowers on it.  I don’t know why I made this choice except that I thought the black (matching) sweater made me look dumpy so I picked this one instead.

3.  Teal and grey flipflops.  I chose these because my sleep-adled brain thought the black (matching) flipflops looked too chunky.

4.  Pink sparkly nailpolish (Red sparkly on the toes).  Not a choice from this morning, but a choice nonetheless, that I have to live with.

5.  Brown purse with orange, white, and blue flowers on it.  I chose this because I thought at the store that a black (matching) purse would be too boring for summer.

6.  Coffee cup that is hunter green and peach colored.  This I do not regret, it is adorable.

7.  Ponytail because my hair was super-flat when I woke up.  Probably… from sleeping on it.

Okay so here is the thing.  Everything on this list is cute in and of itself.  But together!  Oh world, what was I thinking?  I think I have learned an important lesson about all that black (matching) stuff that I don’t like.

In other news, I just called the building for a lightbulb change and guess what: They knew it was me!  I’m somebody!  I call for lightbulbs!  I said my floor and they said, “Oh, is this Amy?”  Yes it is, world!  Look out.

Of course, they probably know me because they have my picture up on a bulletin board somewhere under, “Too Many Colors: Possibly Crazy.”  Oh well.  It’s good to be somebody, even if it’s somebody crazy.

 

Gold fingernails

When I worked at Max and Erma’s, every day of the week was positively defined by the drink special.  Seriously.  I would wake up on a Friday and think “Vodka Sea Breeze” up until we changed it… then it was, “Vodka Sea Breeze, no, wait, Sangria.  Today I’m cutting fruit.”  This was, like, while I was brushing my teeth.  Because you have to cut a LOT of fruit when the drink special is sangria.  Anyway, all I am saying is that a daily drink special lends a kind of rhythm to the week.  Today is Thursday, wine special.  This pops into my mind, still, an entire year after I worked there.

Actually.  I sort of wish that I still had a Daily Anything to define my days by.  I should really think of something.  Any ideas?

So The House of Mirth is intense.  I am loving it.  Yesterday, I could barely put it down after reading it on the train… I fairly ran to Starbucks with the book open in my hands and plopped in a chair to finish Book 1.  And then I went home and read while I cooked, ate, painted my nails. (Yellow, to match the cover of my book)(yeah I did).  I am so nervous and excited and emotional about how things end for Lily.  And other people keep talking to me about it!  Which is comforting.

Today is the humidest of all humid days that fall on June 5.  I think.  I went outside first thing this morning, and already it was so humid that I didn’t want to wear my own hair.  I carried my jacket.  I am not brave enough to leave the house without it yet.  Plus I have a weird feeling that it is going to storm all crazy-style and then be suddenly freezing cold.  By “weird feeling” I mean… that’s what the internet weather says will happen.

I heard chipped nails are in

So I read last week that chipped nailpolish is all the rage.  I am letting my nailpolish chip, now, but it just looks so bad.  I think the thing is, if you are a model who has been dressed head-to-toe perfect then the chipped nails look edgy and cool.  If you are a slightly sloppy receptionist the chipped nails look… chipped. 

A couple things.  First off, there is a very interesting article about writing in my links.  If you click on “Aimee Bender” you will go immediately to her writing excersise page.  And there, you will find a link to Abigail Thompson (I think) and her writing exercises.  I read that whole thing and I thought it was just wonderful.  I called Gillian immediately to tell her about it.  Now I am telling everyone else.

Another thing.  Last night I spent about 10 minutes finding a picture of Muriel Spark to set as the background on my laptop.  I love it.  Muriel Spark is pretty much my hero.  She is an amazing writer for one thing.  She is beautiful and feisty and difficult to pinpoint.  If you’ve heard of her, you have probably read The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie or seen the movie.  Or you have read The Girls of Slender Means, because that is pretty popular, too.  My favorite is Loitering With Intent, still, even after college.  But she has a dozen other great books, and she wrote short stories and poetry, and biographies.  She was impossibly cool and everything I’ve read by her is at least spectacularly interesting if not totally lovable.  And Fleur Talbot is up there with my favorite characters of all time… Emily, Jane Eyre, Agnes Grey, Mona Grey, Fleur.  For serious.

Anyway, it would be a lie to say that she is my favorite author.  But she’s awesome and if you ever make it past the grossly oversized Nicholas Sparks section at Borders you will find one or two books by her.  Consider them highly recommended.

One very last thing.  I am reading The House of Mirth right now, by Edith Wharton and it is wonderful.  This girl stopped me on the train this morning, even, just to tell me that.  She told me the ending is amazing too.  I’ll let you know how it goes.  I don’t think it’s going to be very happy, but probably very great.

Excuse me I have to dust off the blogging part of my brain

Hi.  Haven’t updated in a little while.  I guess it is because I’m too boring.  I think to myself, “What should I write about today?  Coffee?  My nailpolish?  The weather?” and then I realize that maybe maybe that’s been done.  Right here.  At Storytimewithamy, maybe I’ve written about that before.  I’m just not that interested in that many things, you know?

But it’s not just the blogging.  Writing in general got really overwhelming for me for a couple weeks.  Like, three weeks maybe.  Pretty much since California.  I don’t really know why.  I lack consistancy.  One week I’m all obsessed with this one paragraph, this one sentence, and the next three weeks I’m all, “Hey, man, whatever.”  So… hey man, whatever.

But let’s see… what’s new in my life?  Well, for one thing, I think I’ve gotten a lot prettier.  My hair is a little bit longer, and since it’s warmer I can wear cuter clothes.  I started wearing a toe ring when I wear flip flops which is nice and beachy.  One day this week I got all business lunchy and I got a mani/pedi/eyebrow wax during my lunch break.  Yeah.  Yeah I did.  That made me look more put together, but not necessarily more pretty I suppose. 

I got my $600 of government love money.  Whooo!  A little bit of it went towards rebuilding my bank account after the California Wedding Weekend, but I am still left with a pretty nice chunk that I am trying to divide wisely between things I always wanted but couldn’t afford and things I’ve always needed but couldn’t afford.  I’m trying to make it pretty much 50/50.  Eh.  We’ll see.

So far, I’ve bought: One pair of jeans that fit my body (Thanks Stacy London), one large nonstick frying pan, one extra-large padded sink mat that keeps dishes from smashing to smitherines while you’re washing them (really, this is like my favorite thing I bought.  It is so sleek looking.  I love it), two CDs, two Sim’s expansion packs. 

The rest of the money might go to the following things from Amydreamland: New pair of New Balances, eye doctor appointment, work pants.

In case you’re thinking, “Gross accumulation!  You are a stuff person, aren’t you!” I can tell you this, I am also thinking of starting a project where I get rid of things and write about it.  So far I love the idea but it is daunting in actuality.  The thing is, I am super sentimental about my stuff.  Ask my parents.  They have literally boxes upon boxes of my stuff from childhood.  Here’s me: “Noooo!  I can’t get rid of this.  It’s from my surgery.  Noooo! This is from that one friend I had in Jr. High.  Nooooo!  I wore this shirt on my second date with Bob.  Nooooo! I wrote this paper while I was at Trinity!  And this?  Joey gave it to me for Christmas when he was ten.  I can’t get rid of it.”  Oh.  I could go on for days. 

Anyway, my idea is that I can think about the best way to get rid of my stuff (garbage, giving it to someone specific, giving it to good will, selling it, making it into something new) and write about the experience.  I think it would be easy to write my stories about things, and about the throwing away experience.  Because hell yes, I plan on making a super big deal about it if I actually start getting rid of things.  That’s just how I roll.

This is a bad idea, isn’t it.  Is it?  Oh, I’ll let you know what I decide.  Also, in the Newswithamy, I bought a book on how to not be a perfectionist anymore.  This is embarrassing, but… I think it’s helping.  Well, I am underlining a lot and while I am living my life I am remembering things from the book so if that isn’t working, I don’t know what is.  Of course, it isn’t perfect…. ha ha ha.  Just a little joke for you folks.  Am I tired or just hilarious?  I never know.

I am going to write more later.  Tomorrow.  Lots of blogging this week.  It’s a promise.  Gotta push through!

Hustlers grab your guns, your shadow weighs a ton

If you are not familiar with allthe lyrics of “California” aka the OC theme song, then I’m sorry that my blog title does not make sense to you.  And a little bit sorry that you do not watch the OC.  That said, by Wednesday Night This Week I will be in California (California) (Here we come)(ooooh).  You guessed it– Amber’s wedding!

So here is what I have been up to:  being excited about the wedding, planning things for the wedding, buying accessories for the wedding, daydreaming about being in Not Chicago, imagining everything I am going to wear in Not Chicago, imagining everything I will do in Not Chicago including walking on sandy beaches and not wearing a coat. 

I figure that since Amber and Dan are getting married, they get to be Seth and Summer if they want, so that makes me and Wayne Ryan and Marrissa.  So.  Since I look better in a wife beater than Wayne, I am going to have to be Ryan.  You can picture me, boy turned architecture genius, punching people and talking about Chino a lot.  And Wayne will be making as many bad decisions as he can think of, but we only have four days.  So I think he should really focus on one bad decision or two and I will bail him out with my muscles and also the money I get from my adoptive parents.

Okay, so this isn’t my most coherent post ever, is it?  But as you can tell I’m really excited.

In other news.  There was coffee in the break room today in the afternoon.  And it was still hot!  I know, that almost never happens.

PLUS.  I found this amazing nailpolish that is like a magenta-pink with only a little bit of metallic in it and it is called (wait for it) Killer Queen.  Yeah!  What could be a more awesome flying-to-meet-Amber-for-her-wedding color?  I am going to paint my nails tonight so they will be Killer Queen colored on the plane, and then we can do manicures so that they will be normal colored for the ceremony.

Okay just in case you read this post and managed to not be excited for me, one more tidbit: I get to wear a yellow dress.  So there!  That should really seal the deal.  Now, go watch the OC because I plan on referencing them (the gang) a lot this week.

An interview; don’t read unless you are really bored.

I am thinking that I am going to do this post interview-style.  Because I am lame.  I think that’s the reason.  Let’s pretend I’m being interviewed by… oh, Vogue.  Because they just interviewed Gwenyth Paltrow and I like the association.

Amy agrees to meet me in Starbucks, since it’s a Wednesday.  “Don’t worry,” she explains, “Free coffee Wednesdays!”  When she shows up, late, I’m reminded of her captivating wit and sparkle.  She’s wearing a blue wrap from Ann Taylor Loft with a casual black sweater. 

Vogue:  Okay, so I guess I have to start with the famous question.  What color nailpolish is that?

Giovannetti:  Chocomotion.  I like it because it’s a nice pinky brown.

V:  It is.  Is it true that you paint your nails as often as everybody says?

G:  Well…. I wouldn’t say I paint them that much.  But, yeah, once a week or so.  Sometimes a thing like that just gets blown up in the media, I’m reading about myself that I change my nailpolish every day, twice a day.  I really only paint them once a week.  I like colors, you know, I like to change it up.  Sometimes I like a little bit of glitter, sometimes I go with something classic. 

V:  Well, Chocomotion is a great color on you.  You look very professional.  So, onto business.  We heard that you’ve been showing up earlier to work, has this been hard for you?

G:  Yeah, well, it’s always an adjustment.  The trains in my neighborhood have just been crazy lately… they closed down my stop.  So I’ve been walking just an extra block or two.  Which doesn’t sound like a lot, but when you’re running late it can be stressful.  Plus the train has been slower in the morning. 

V:  So what changes, exactly, have you made?

G:  Well.  I’ve been waking up earlier.  I’ve been… you know, it’s actually pretty easy to get out of the house sooner.  Ever since I bought Benefit’s You Rebel Tinted Moisturizer, my makeup has been really quick.  It’s moisturizer, too, so it eliminates a step.  Lately I’ve been making coffee most mornings… I find that soothing, you know, actually forcing myself to stand up even though I’m sleepy.  And I’ve been eating breakfast, Multigrain Cheerios.  Becuase I really believe in that.  Breakfast.  I have to eat standing up because Gryffindor is a pain, but it’s still worth it.

V:  Well that sounds great.  And I heard you’ve just started reading a new book?

G:  Yeah.  It’s called Blue Angel and it’s by Francine Prose.  I never thought I’d like Francine Prose, but now that I’m reading her, I’ve changed my mind.  It’s a great book.  I love it so far.

V:  And your own writing?  How’s that coming along?

G:  Well, I’ve got a few chapters of my novel, and I’m really trying to focus on that these days.  I think that the most important thing I can do is write a lot and talk about it a lot so that if it ever does become a book, everybody is so sick of it that they aren’t interested anymore.  Ha ha!

V:  Well, that sounds like a good plan to us!

G:  Ha ha, thanks.  No, really, I mostly just show chapters to my boyfriend and then we talk about the characters.  I love it.  I have this thing, where I write something and then get really really excited about it like, Read this!  But then the next day I hate it.  I can’t even look at it.  But it’s a process, you know, I think everybody that writes knows that writing-hangover feeling where you were so excited the night before, but in the morning it’s like a pile of poop.

V:  You mentioned your boyfriend.  Is that Wayne, or one of the other guys you’ve been linked to in the past?

G:  Hmm, yeah, that would be Wayne.  We’ve been together for… oh Gosh, a little over a year or something.  We’re doing great.  He’s great.

V:  What about that quote that’s been floating around… you’ve been rumored to have said, “I’ll date anyone who hands me a cup of coffee,” and because of that you’ve been linked to the guy who owns the convenience store in your building and several Starbucks employees.

G:  (laughs)  Well, I’m really only interested in dating one Starbucks employee, and that’s Wayne.  But I know plenty of people who work at Starbucks.  It’s part of what I do, I go to Starbucks.  And I sit there, I read… whatever.  That’s funny about the convenience store guy.  I hadn’t heard that one.  That convenience store doesn’t even sell coffee.

V:  Really!  Huh.

G:  Well.  I bought one of those “Double Shot Lite” things once.  That was good.  Maybe someone got a picture of that.